A Cheeto Problem
by MBlack-Sirius' Secret Lover
Summary: Someone is eating all of Harry's Cheetos before Harry could have any. Could it be Remus? Ron? Or most likely Sirius? PART 1 COMPLETE
1. Caught RedHanded!

Sirius Has a Problem  
  
Disclaimer: JKR owns all. JKR owns all.  
  
Author: Sirius' Secret Lover  
  
Date: August 19, 2003  
  
Summery: Sirius has a problem. He is addicted to something . . . But what?  
  
Sirius sat the sofa reading a book. He felt funny. He ran to the kitchen. Looking around he spotted what he needed. Cheetos! 'Harry wouldn't mind. Just one bag.' He thought to himself. Placing his butt back on the sofa, stuffing his face with Cheetos.  
  
Harry came to his and Sirius' house late. He was busy playing Quidditch with the Weasleys. He was quiet glad the he caught Pettigrew, the one who betrayed his parents and placed Sirius in Azkaban, in his Sixth year. Now, fresh out of school, he and Sirius bought a house together. He thought that living together, they would live happily ever after. Boy, he was wrong. He was buying bags after bags of Cheetos. He never got a chance to have just one! He had a feeling that his beloved godfather was the guilty one. But Remus, Sirius' mate, lives with them too. Ron always comes here. Ah! Pigging out with Sirius and Remus! Harry was hurt that they didn't ask him to join in. 'But', he thought, 'this is just a feeling, anyone of them could be pigging out on their own.'  
  
Harry went to the kitchen right away. He just bought a new bag last night. He looked in the cupboard. Gone. He was very mad. It had to be Sirius! He was the only one there! Remus was on a job for the Order, he wouldn't be back for weeks!  
  
"Sirius, have you seen my new shoes?" Harry wanted to try to side track him.  
  
"No, Harry."  
  
"Wait! Where's my Cheetos?"  
  
"Um . . .Dog ate them?"  
  
"Oh . . . Wait! You ARE a dog!"  
  
"Wait! Harry, I . . . You see, . . ."  
  
"Hey, what's that?" Harry pointed to an empty bag on Sirius' lap.  
  
"Nothing!" Sirius said quickly, standing up.  
  
"Ha! Caught red-handed!"  
  
"Um . . . No, I . . . Er . . . "  
  
"I knew it! I knew it! You were number ONE on my list! Ha! I knew it, I knew it!"  
  
"Harry, shut up! Hey-"  
  
"I knew it, I knew it!"  
  
"Harry, I get your point! Will you please shut-"  
  
"I knew it! Now, pay up!"  
  
"What? I thought-"  
  
"Pay up! You own me money for all that!"  
  
"What? Hey, I don't have any!"  
  
"Maybe, you should have a J-O-B!"  
  
"Do you take an IOU?" asked Sirius despertly.  
  
"No! Fine, since you have no money, no job, you will work for me!"  
  
"WHAT? You work with the greasy git!"  
  
"SO?"  
  
"I hate you."  
  
"Hehe. We wake up at 6:00 a.m."  
  
"What? NO WAY!"  
  
"Oh, come on! You wake up at noon, you lazy pig!"  
  
"That is now way to talk to your poor defenceless godfather like that!"  
  
"More like poor lazy, godfather."  
  
"Shut up! I am NOT lazy!"  
  
"Sure, that's why there's food everywhere! You're too lazy to eat with me!"  
  
"You get home late!"  
  
"Good night. We have to wake up early. Time for bed."  
  
"What? It's only 10:00!"  
  
"Good night! Sleep tight!"  
  
A/N: Should I upload? Review please! I kinda made Siri like me, I wake up at noon all the time. Lazy, I know. The Cheeto part is my beloved best friend, who is a pig. 


	2. In Those Jeans

Chapter 2: In Those Jeans  
  
Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I don't own anybody! I try and I try but throughout my Dumpster diving, I cannot find a nice little deed that says I'm the Master of the Wizarding World!  
  
"Har-ree! No, I repeat, no! You are not going to take to the greasy git's house!" wailed a pitiful Sirius as they were getting ready for bedtime.  
  
"No, all that wailing is not going to work! Do you really want Snape seeing you like this?"  
  
Sirius straightened up quickly."Oh yeah, I can't lose my professional figure, now!"  
  
"Pro-figure? Oh yeah, I'm am so sure that everyone loves tha way you manage to fit in those jeans!" (A/N: You know that song, In those Jeans or whatever it's called? Have you heard of it?) He pointed to Sirius's jeans and sure enough, the button was popping of and he didn't have the zipper zipped. Thos jeans looked really familiar. Wait a minute! "Sirius! Those are MY jeans! You're fat arse is stretching them!"  
  
"Heh. You better hide your boxers!" Smirked Sirius.  
  
"Ew! God no! Sirius, don't you ever think about it!" said Harry as he tried not to picture his very large godfather in his beloved boxers.  
  
"Oh, yeah. I know that I'm gonna wear you swimming trunks tomorrow! Or what about your nice leather pants? " Yelled Sirius from across the hall.  
  
"Shut up! I do not want to picture you in my leather pants! You are a poor, jobless, fat, old man!"  
  
"You really think that?" Yelled Sirius in a hurt voice.  
  
"Oh, not the fist an last comment. As for the rest, let's say you need to go on Atkins Diet! It's really nice. Molly went on it and got lost her flub almost in her fist week!"  
  
"A DIET? ARE YOU MAD?" then silence filled the halls as both men fell into a deep sleep. Harry dreamt that he married a goat. Sirius dreamt that he married a big Twinkie.  
  
A/N: No, I am not that certain diet. I am perfectly figured, just ask Sirius and he'll tell you.  
  
Review Responds:  
  
Mr. Padfoot1: *blushes a Weasley-red* Thank you! Review again!  
  
SandiBebop: You reviewed? *shrieks and faints* *Sirius comes and dumps water on his Lover's head* I just LOVE your fic! Upload soon! Er . . .Thank you!  
  
nunnya buiznes: Thank you!  
  
Oni3: I liked your fic! Thank you, I really love him! Scary, though . . . 


	3. To Be Thin Again

To Be Thin Again  
  
"Harry, please, can't we just visit Moony?" A beg that was heard all day.  
  
"Sirius, for the miillionth time, no. Snape is wanting me to make a extreamly difficult potion. If you mess me up, I am going to splash it all over you!"  
  
"God Harry, can't a man beg?" Sirius huffed.  
  
"Um . . .No!" Harry said wickedly.  
  
"I guess I better get ready." Sirius said with a sly smile.  
  
"No! You stay outta my jeans! Not my leather pants!" Screeched Harry as he saw another sly smile play across his Godfather's fat lips.  
  
"Fine. Let's get dressed."  
  
"Yeah, time to put on your poncho!" Harry smirked.  
  
"You-you . . .!" But Harry was already gone.  
  
Snape's Private Lab- 12:22 pm  
  
"Hello, Pot- er . . . Harry." Harry forced Snape to call him Harry.  
  
"Hello to you too, Professor. I have brought my friend, Sirius Black, I do think that you know him."  
  
"What? So you are telling me that the inflated person is Black?" Harry had no time to answer because for the first time in years, Snape laughed.  
  
"So that human pig is B-Black!" More laughter bounced all over Snape's lab and broke potion viles.  
  
Snape's laughter is soon dried out by shrill crying. Snape seemed to ignor that and started laughing again.  
  
"Sirius, what's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing. I just can't see why Snape is laughing."  
  
"Ahh! I have an idea! Hold on!" And with that, Harry ran to get something.  
  
"He came momunts later with a potion bottle in hand. "Drink this."  
  
Sirius, knowing that his godson would never poison him, drank it.  
  
"See any differents?"  
  
Sirius looked around. He saw nothing then he look and his fat- beautiful figure and wash board abs.  
  
"Harry you-you . . .Thank you!" Sirius ran over to embrace his godson.  
  
"Sirius you're choking me!" Gasped his lithe godson.  
  
"Oh, I forgot that I don't have fat on my arms." Sirius smiled sheepishly.  
  
"Hey, don't worry. With that new body of yours, we can go pick up some ladies!"  
  
"Oh yeah!" and they left Snape to sort out his problems.  
  
"Do you think that we should give him a Calming Potion?"  
  
"Nah."  
  
Just when he said that, Remus appears.  
  
"Hey Sirius, why are you naked?" Sirius's poncho was 100 sizes too big and fell off.  
  
"I um . . ."  
  
"And why are so thin? Last time I saw you, You were the size of Vernon Dursley!"  
  
"And why-"  
  
"Rem, shut up. Time to get some chicks!"  
  
"Oh Sirius, I've already got one. Her name is Aubrey. Come on out Abuse!"  
  
"Were are they?" said the young lady, Aubs.  
  
"Drat! They're picking up girls."  
  
The End! Tell me if you want a sequel! I'll do it!  
  
Review Responds:  
  
veld: Yeah, thought so too.  
  
sea-Shell 23- I can see that you like this story! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Savi2070- I mead Siri better. You're the only one who cares for his welfare! Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Sneakernet- My friend Aubrey lover Rem too. Thank's for reviewing-I put Remus is there for you.  
  
Gyp- Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Window Girl-You don't know how much I agree! Thank's for reviewing!'  
  
Snufflesluver- Heh. Do you want Siri fat? Thanks for reviewing!  
  
Ocean Godess: Thank you!  
  
Mr. Padfoot1: I make you laugh? *blushes* You're too kind!  
  
People, REVIEW! My life depends on them! 


End file.
